Ozone Schmozone!

As far as personal hygiene goes, usually I use Secret stick deodorant. I've always chosen it because: "It's strong enough for a man, but made for a woman". Well I guess I was feeling poor so I decided to try an aerosol-style cheapo brand of deodorant. First time out, I exit the shower, towel off and begin the application. Sometimes my body just takes over and spazzes out, because all of a sudden...it's like the can came to life and jumped out of my hand and crashed to the hard tile floor. The nozzle snapped off. It didn't just pop off to where you could jam it back on. No...it broke off. The can started spewing out a thick, giant cloud of ozone killing mist. I panicked. I tried to jam the broken nozzle back on the can. Meanwhile being asphixiated by chemicals. I thought about running with it through the house to throw it outside. Luckily I remembered that I was stark naked. I wouldn't want to scare the neighbors. I screamed for my husband who came a running. He threw a towel over the geysering monstrosity and calmly walked it outside. It felt like my lungs were going to collapse, but at least they weren't sweating. So anyhoodle, thanks to my heroic husband the crisis was averted. Sort of. Sorry Planet Earth.

P.S. I love using paper towels...so on the flip side.... Suck it Planet Earth!