Monday, November 17, 2008

Death of a Salesman

Yesterday my husband, son and I were spending a leisurely day watching t.v. when all of a sudden the doorbell rang. I went to answer the door. It was the freaky neighbor kid standing there holding an enormous box of popcorn. Our family has a history with this kid and his whole family...and just believe me when I say they are a bizarre bunch. Anyhow, the kid says something about a fundraiser. I stopped him and said (very nicely mind you) "I'm not interested, but thank you". He looks at me quite contemptuously, especially for a 12 year old and says "What?"
Me: Um thanks but I don't want to order anything.
Him: WHAT?
Me again: I'm not interested in ordering any popcorn, but thanks.
Him: You already ordered some, this is yours. Shoving the giant box toward me.
Me: Uh... I didn't order any popcorn.
Him: Yes you did.
Me: No, no I didn't.
Him: YES YOU DID!
I look over at my husband and ask him if he ordered any popcorn. He says no.
Me: No one here ordered any popcorn.
He turns to his dad who is sitting in a car with the window rolled down and screams "THEY SAY THEY DIDN'T ORDER ANY." He turns back to me and says " YOU DID! AND I CAN PROVE IT!"
Me: Okay...prove it.
He ran to his dad and got his order form and then ran back. He mumbled and scanned the form.
Me: Can I see the form?
He handed it to me. My name is not on the form.
Me: My name and address are not on your list.
Him:DAD THEY SAY THEY DIDN'T ORDER ANYTHING!!!
Me: I'm not on your list!
Him: YOU DID, YOU DID ORDER!!!
Me: I"M NOT ON YOUR LIST!!!!
His dad tells him to stop arguing and get in the car. He stomped off in a huff.
Me: GREAT SALESMANSHIP YOU'VE GOT THERE.
I closed the door, exhausted by the bizarre exchange. The whole experience left me feeling really icky. Here's a tip: Next time your doorbell rings, look through the peephole, and if the freaky neighbor kid is standing there holding popcorn....DON"T ANSWER IT!

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